How to Handle Job Rejections and Keep Moving Forward

In any given year, I submit dozens of applications for different things: jobs, funding opportunities, project pitches, awards, residencies, mentorships, and more. And the harsh reality is that at least 75% of my submissions are rejected.

This might sound discouraging, but it’s a part of the profession. And, over time I’ve developed strategies for dealing with the rejection. Strategies that you can use during your Canadian job hunt. Let’s get into it.

Reframe rejections

Learning to deal with rejection takes time. The more you experience it, the easier it gets. There’s a YouTuber name Jia Jiang who has created an entire framework for this which he calls “Rejection Therapy.” He intentionally puts himself in situations where he’ll be rejected – like asking a stranger to borrow $100, asking to have a tour of a grocery store, or the classic asking a girl out to dinner.

Thankfully, you don’t have to start practicing rejection therapy, but there are lessons you can pull from Jiang’s approach. You cannot control the rejection itself, but you may be able to learn to control your reaction to it.

When it comes to job applications, you can change your reaction by reframing the rejection. Ask yourself a few questions:

• How many people might have applied for this job?
• Is it possible they simply selected an internal candidate?
• What is the jobs market like right now? What does that tell me about how many applicants there are for open positions?

Asking yourself these types of questions can help shift your perspective. Rejection is rarely personal and often has more to do with another candidate who has an existing connection to the company. Try to reframe your rejections: “This rejection has nothing to do with me, it’s just a product of the circumstance.”

That being said, this is not an excuse to never address your weaknesses. It may help to ask yourself if there are ways to improve your resume, cover letter, or interview skills. But there’s also no rush to do this – give yourself permission to process the rejection first. Once you’re feeling better you can look into improving your application for the next time (consider checking out our guides on writing a Canadian resume and cover letter).

Develop a rejection ritual

It may help to develop a rejection ritual. Often, when I receive big rejections for jobs or projects that I care deeply about, I feel a big ball of frustration inside me and I just need to put it somewhere.

There are “healthier” and “less healthy” ways to deal with those hard emotions.

For me, I realized that I can usually work out my frustration by hitting a heavy weights session at the gym or going hard at a boxing class. However, some nights the frustration gets so bad that I can’t even leave the house. In those cases, I try to give myself permission to go full “worm mode” for an evening. I’ll watch bad TV, eat pizza, and maybe have a glass of wine.

I think it’s important to be able to give yourself permission to do this once in a while, but if it becomes a regular occurrence, you may want to consider ways to replace “worm mode” with some healthier self-soothing strategies.

(Note: Some jobs will never send you an official rejection. They’ll just ghost you. In these cases, I suggest giving yourself a time limit – maybe two weeks. After those two weeks go by, accept the application as a rejection. This mental strategy can help you move past a ‘ghosted’ application rather than dwelling on it.)

Reward yourself for small victories (and large ones!)

If you’re anything like me, you take the time to fixate on each and every rejection, spending days mulling over the bad feelings. But – when something positive happens, you skip right over it and move onto the next item on your to-do list.

I’ve found great benefit in taking the time to pause and consciously appreciate the wins, both big and small. Something like allowing yourself to get a fancy latte after a job interview (because landing an interview is a success, even if you don’t get the job) or cooking yourself a nice meal after hitting your target number of job applications in a given week.

Sleep on it (literally)

This one sounds simple – and it is. But for me it’s actually one of my most effective strategies for dealing with rejection.

Go to sleep.

Our brains continue working while we’re asleep. Sometimes, after a brutal rejection, I go to sleep with 3/10 mental health, feeling overwhelmed, disappointed, and dejected. The next morning I wake up at a 6/10, my brain having processed some of the emotions while I was sleeping.

Does this always work? No. Sometimes I wake up feeling just as bad as when I went to sleep (or worse). But in the vast majority of instances, a night of sleep makes me feel better.

This also helps me deal with the tough emotions while I’m feeling them. I will tell myself, “You’ll feel better in the morning.” And just that one concept helps blunt the harsh edges of the rejection in the moment.

Talk it out with a friend or loved one

Do you have a partner? A sibling? A parent? A friend? Someone you feel comfortable opening up to about your emotions?

Pick someone you trust and tell them how you’re feeling. Getting it all out can help you feel better. Maybe this can be part of a casual conversation, or maybe it needs to be a full-blown venting session – either way, it’s important to be able to talk about it.

I have two tips for having these conversations with friends or loved ones.

First, if you know it’s going to be an emotionally charged venting session, give the person a heads up. Even saying something like, “I really need to vent about this for a few minutes, is that cool?” helps set expectations. People are usually down to listen, but you never know what someone else is dealing with and sometimes your buddy might not have it in him on that particular day.

Second, always try to ask the person about their life. Just a question or two after you’re done venting. Checking in and asking how the other person is doing and what they’ve got going on in their life can help things feel balanced.

Consider therapy or counselling

Want to know the best thing I ever did for handling rejection? Going to weekly therapy sessions for two years in my twenties. Therapy can help you better understand how to feel, tolerate, and process your emotions – these are skills that will help you far beyond your job hunt.

If you have the means, finding a psychologist, social worker, or counsellor can help you develop emotional strategies with a professional. Sometimes mental health services will be covered by health benefits from certain employers, and in certain cities and provinces, limited counselling services can be obtained through the publicly-funded healthcare system – you can find more info here.

Therapy is not just for when you’re in crisis (though, if you’re in crisis it can definitely help). In fact, it can sometimes be better to attend therapy when you’re not in crisis as this allows you to focus on your psychology more holistically, not just on “symptom management.”

(Note: if you or anyone you know is experiencing mental health crisis, you can find emergency resources here. For urgent medical support call 9-1-1 and if you or someone you know is thinking about suicide call or text 9-8-8.)

It only takes one ‘yes’

The job hunt can feel hopeless at times, especially with endless waves of rejection. After years and years of rejections, I’ve learned that the feeling is separate from the reality. But remember: it only takes one yes. You’re going to get there eventually.

At the end of the day, we’re all just sentient sacks of meat moving around this very strange world, trying the best we can. We weren’t built for keyword-stuffed resumes and LinkedIn networking and ChatGPT-generated cover letters. And yet, we persist because we must. You will find a job, it just might take a little time. In the meantime, I feel you.

You’ve got this.

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